"I was a different person then"

“It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” There is SO much truth in this tiny statement. Literally. Apparently, I am "retired" although I am still feeling mainly just unemployed. I am experiencing a loss of purpose, a diminishing importance, and foundering sense of identity. Why? I'm really not that much different this morning. I greeted the day in the same manner, did much of the familiar routine... only there was no sense of urgency to shower, put on "big girl shoes" and head out the door, lunch in hand, 8 hours preplanned and dictated. Nope, the world is my oyster, regardless of a shellfish allergy. My skill set is the same, but now it is my choice how I use it. Not sure why a carefully planned and executed change of path would suddenly seem ominous and foreboding. It should be bright and inviting. I'm about to tumble headfirst down the rabbit hole... I just need to let go of my firm grip on the roots and enjoy the fall.